I’m a Carnivore and I’m OK with That

I don’t know if you know this about me but I consider myself a carnivorous being.

First Google image search for “Carnivorous being” is a man-eating tree.
Not mad about it.

Sure, vegetables are fine. Tofu is tolerable enough.

But not enough to tempt me.

In a much beloved (I think) family memory, when I was about 9 years old, my parents were preparing dinner and mi madre asked me, “What would you like for dinner?” My reply?

“Meat.”

In an earlier favorite wolf pack moment, we went out to a fancy brunch and my parents told my sisters and me that we could eat whatever we wanted.

What did 6 year old Lizzie do? Well, she ate bacon. For the entire duration of the meal.

Child Me but with bacon.

No seriously, I must have eaten my weight in bacon. Mi madre attempted to intervene at one moment but Fajahh stopped her. After all, they told us that we could eat anything.

So I ate all the bacon and it was glorious.

Two hours later, the bacon grease hit me and I was coiled up in pain for the rest of the day.

Worth it.

I usually keep my love of meat to myself though. There’s a surprising number of vegetarians and vegans in my acquaintance and I like to think of myself as a lover and not a hater.

BUT, can I say something controversial though?

I do notice that vegans and vegetarians LOVE posting artsy Instagram photos of their meals and talking about just how amazing and tasty their repasts were – ESPECIALLY due to the lack of meat.

My response?

I assure you that I’m not anti-vegetarian / vegan. It’s your life – do what you gotta do.

But rest assured that, no matter how artsy the pictures of your meatless meals are, I will never join your ranks.

So anyway, I went to holiday party recently with Boyfriend. We were told that there would be much bounty so we skipped on having dinner. We arrived at the lovely home and I gazed at the beautiful spread. There were cheeses and hummus and crackers and guacamole and desserts and more. I nibbled and noshed on endless crudités. But I just couldn’t seem to get full and couldn’t figure out why until I realized…

There was no meat.

There was absolutely not a single scrap of meat in the party. Reason? I quickly deduced that Boyfriend and I were the only carnivores present.

So I thought, “Well, it’s okay. I guess I can get through tonight without meat.” And began drinking to compensate.

As I kept eating fancy crackers with a delicate brie and pear chutney on top, I kept obsessing about meat. At one point, I leaned over to Boyfriend and whispered, “All I want is a bacon cheeseburger.”

DISCLAIMER: I know you’re all thinking that I’m a brat. But I must say that the few times I’ve hosted a party I made sure that everyone had something to eat. Vegetarians, vegans, gluten intolerants, dairy-free…you got a diet choice, I will accommodate. Except if you are allergic to the world and I feel like my food preparation might kill you, I will ask you to bring something for you to munch on.

All I ask is for the same in return. I have meat needs.

Long story short, Boyfriend and I went to Love & Pizza after the party and I built my own pizza, natürlich. Love & Pizza lets you have unlimited toppings so when I got to the meat section, I told the worker, “All of it, please.” He responded, “Wait, all of what?” And I said “All of the meat.”

He did indeed give me all of the meat on my pan pizza and it was delicious.

The next day, I tried the whole “let’s prep the week’s meals in advance” life hack. I will say that the process as a whole made Past Lizzie quite grumpy and Future Lizzie very happy. I’ll see if I can keep it up.

Here are two stand out meat-tastic recipes I made:

1. Lentil and Sausage Stew (Recommended to me by a Baby Angel)

Ingredients

• 1 lb. Italian sausage **I used hot Italian ground sausage.
• 1 medium onion
• 3 med. (1/2 lb.) carrots **I used 10-15 baby carrots, diced
• 4 stalks (1/2 bunch) celery **NOPE
• 2/3 of a yellow squash, quartered
• 15 oz can stewed tomatoes
• 10 oz. frozen spinach
• 2 cloves garlic **Might have used 3 and not sorry about it.
• 2 cups brown lentils
• 2 Tbsp (or 6 cubes) chicken base (bouillon) **Ehh I used like 3 bouillon cubes. 6 seemed excessive.
• 6 cups water
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tsps black pepper
• 1 tsp cayenne
• 1 tsp paprika
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp oregano

Instructions

1. Cook the sausage in a large pot over medium heat. If you are using a soft sausage, it will be easier to squeeze it out of the casing than to slice it. A firm sausage can be sliced prior to cooking.
2. While the sausage is cooking, prepare your vegetables: wash, peel and slice the carrots and celery **squash; dice the onion and mince the garlic. Bring out thine can opener and have at that dastardly can o’ tomatoes. Once the sausage is cooked through, throw all the ingredients into your crockpot (shiny red ones preferred) and cook on low for 8 hours. add the vegetables and continue to cook until the onions are soft and transparent (about 5 min).
3. Measure out the lentils and pick through them to make sure there are no stones. Add them to the pot along with the chicken base (or bouillon), 6 cups of water, cayenne, cumin, paprika and oregano.
4. Bring the pot up to a simmer, place a lid on top, reduce the heat to low and let simmer for 30 minutes or until the lentils are soft. Add more water if it gets too dry. (taste it to see if lentils are soft, you can also adjust the seasoning to your preference at this point)
5. Stir in the frozen spinach and cook for about 15 minutes more.

It looked like this and was quite delightful.

2. Prosciutto Wrapped Chicken with Asparagus

Ingredients

• 1 pound chicken breast, sliced thin (2-3 breasts)
• salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 2 tablespoons flour, or more
• 4 slices prosciutto
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 bunch asparagus **Green beans were on special so I made mine instead with, well, green beans.
• 1/4 cup basil pesto
• 1/3 cup cream

Instructions

1. If the chicken breasts are thick, slit them in half lengthwise to make them thinner. Pat them dry with a paper towel, then sprinkle with salt and pepper; go easy on the salt, the prosciutto is salty.
2. Rub the chicken with the flour. Wrap each piece of chicken with a piece of prosciutto.
3. In a large skillet, heat the olive oil on medium. When it is hot, add the wrapped chicken. Cook for 5-6 minutes, then flip and cook for another 4-5 minutes or so, until browned and it reaches 165 degrees.
4. Meanwhile, add about 3 inches of water to a small pot, cover, and put it on to boil. Wash the asparagus and snap off the woody ends. Cut the asparagus into 2 inch pieces. Add to a steamer basket, and when the water in the pot is at a rolling boil, put the basket on top and cover. Cook for about 5 minutes, or until tender. Immediately rinse with cold water to stop the cooking and set it aside. (If you don’t have a steamer, you can roast the asparagus, or saute it with some oil).
   **In my case, I boiled the green beans most of the way through (medium sized pan, bring the water to a boil, add a little salt, throw in the beans) and then semi-blanched them under cold water.
5. In a small bowl whisk together the pesto and cream.

So this is when I realized that I forgot to buy any pesto. A part of me was like this:

But if this blog has taught me anything, it has taught me to think on my feet. So I just made some pesto.

Basil Pesto

Ingredients

2 cups packed fresh basil leaves **I used 1 cup of dried basil.
2 cloves garlic
1/4 cup pine nuts **I used pecans because who casually keeps pine nuts?
2/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1/2 cup freshly grated Pecorino cheese **I used Parmesan and it tasted great.

Directions

Combine the basil, garlic, and pine nuts pecans in a food processor and pulse until coarsely chopped. Add 1/2 cup of the oil and process until fully incorporated and smooth. Season with salt and pepper.

If using immediately, add all the remaining oil and pulse until smooth. Transfer the pesto to a large serving bowl and mix in the cheese.

Sha-zam!

Anyway…

6. When the chicken is fully cooked, pour the mixture over the chicken, and add the asparagus **or green beans. Bring the mixture to a boil, then turn off the heat.

Oohhh yaaaasss….

And here’s yet another try and food photography.

Yeah, I know. Still not very good.

The Obligatory Sie Lizzie D Meat Eater Q&A (So You Don’t Think I’m a Total Monster)

If you had to kill animals to eat meat, would you do it?

Yeah, I recognize that I live in a privileged world and don’t have to commit the actual kill for my food. It all comes nicely packaged at my local grocery store and I like that. But if the modern world were to end, I would engage with my caveman instincts and hunt Bambi and his friends down. And probably shed a tear and pray for their spirits before consumption.

Haven’t you seen those animal cruelty videos???

Yeah, those guys are monsters and no animal deserves such treatment. Which is why you should buy meat from local butchers and farmers. Tastes better too.

But the meat industry is contaminating the planet!!

Ehhh, probz and that’s a problem. But don’t you think it’s a much larger issue than that? I mean, the real problem is that the human race is contaminating the planet. Also, on another note, I’m pretty sure many non-meat eaters use plastic and gasoline on a regular basis sooo…

But, seriously, you would be so much healthier and happier if you stopped eating animal products.

Agree to disagree. I am very healthy according to my doctor. And as for happier…

Tschüss!

Sie Lizzie D