Why hello there.
I’m ashamed of myself for not having seen the sequel yet.
Yes, I am 26.
Again, my blogging lapse is because I have literally not been cooking. No, but really, I was in a show.
I will grant you one wish if you can find me.
AND, I had a major work conference advocating for arts funding and why arts education should be listed as a core academic subject on Capitol Hill.
All the arts.
AND I have been simultaneously struck with an obsession to wait for the right moment to blog. And most likely I have been struggling with laziness.
I’ve also been traveling a lot from visiting my parents to spending time with my lady friend, Leesh Leesh. And I’m about to journey to Pittsburgh for my friend’s wedding. All whilst only managing to take pictures of dogs.
LOOK AT MY HANDSOME CHARLIE BEAR
AND MY BEAUTIFUL FAIRY GODDAUGHTER WAFFLES
Anyway, I again have missed the mark in blogging regularly. Boyfriend, once more, reminded me that I am not giving my due diligence in blogging for my patient audience.
Speaking of Boyfriend, I very aggressively left him an angry voicemail this evening for failing to reload the laundry card. While that in and of itself is not a crime, he did not inform me before I put a full load of laundry in the laundry machine, loaded it up with detergent, and then saw that the card was out of funds. When I had no cash on me and he is presently out of the apartment playing soccer.
Oh yeah. And when I get self-righteous, I use the third person. That voicemail is a gem and I hope Boyfriend saves it.
“It is one thing not to fill up the Britta water jug. IT IS ANOTHER THING NOT TO REFILL THE LAUNDRY CARD AND NOT TELL YOUR PARTNER.”
He will not like me telling you all this one bit. But, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Boyfriend.
So let’s talk about wormholes. Whenever someone asks me what it’s like in Sie Lizzie’s brain, I honestly have to answer: “Imagination wormholes.”
To be honest, I have a very difficult time staying entirely present in the real world. I have an overactive imagination, and I was a space cadet most of my childhood. But honestly, growing up, I had a very difficult time focusing and not retreating into my mind. I mean, in a way, why not? My beautiful Imagination Land was so much better than reality.
I also didn’t understand logical things like telling time and long division for quite some time. Fortunately, Madre and Fajaaah gradually snapped me out of it and made me learn the big hand from the little hand and basic math skills. Thanks, Parents, for keeping me functional.
But okay, let’s be real – I’m still a space cadet but now am cognizant that it’s not normal. Anyway, as an adult-like creature, I now no longer have Fajaaah constantly reminding me, “Elisabeth, what time is it? No, Elisabeth, quarter to 3 is not 3:15. Elisabeth, where is your lunch and gym clothes? Elisabeth, you knew about this assignment for months, and next time, I will not proof your project that is due in 6 hours. Slow down, Elisabeth, slow down.” And God, do I miss it.
All day long, I have to remind myself to be present and do normal things like staying on task, getting my work done, filing my taxes, and setting my alarm every night before bed. I know those all are First World problems, but I can’t tell you how difficult I find it to remain productive and to not get stuck in my imagination wormholes.
Anyway, these past two days, I have been stuck in the same wormhole. Basically, I saw that one of my work members had posted an article about a couple in a “mixed orientation marriage.”
Right? So obviously I had to click on it. And discovered this blogger called Josh Weed.
Basically, he is a Mormon dad of 3 adorable little girls. And he came out of the closet on his 10th wedding anniversary. With his wife. Who he is still happily married to.
Yeah, if you want to have your mind warped a little bit, read this post. It really threw me for a loop. No imaginative wormhole pun intended.
Whether you decide to read the full post or not, in it, Josh keeps mentioning that he is a humor blogger. And here I am like:
His coming out post is THAT serious. Anyway, I decided, “Hey, I will read one ‘humorous’ blog post of this guy and if it’s no bueno then I am done.”
So I read this blog post. And, I think it’s hilarious.
Now, I honestly can’t stop reading this guy’s blog. I mean, I’m one of three girls, and my parents were 30 years old when they had their final bambino, aka Sie Lizzie D. I can’t help but think, “God, what if Fajaaah had the Internet when we were little and blogged about all of our crazy antics.”
Except Fajaaah isn’t gay and isn’t a Mormon and isn’t a therapist.
It’s totally fine if you don’t like Josh’s blog like I do. I relate to him as a fellow awkward soul, and I really enjoy how he tells stories about his girls. Like Bambi nuggets. I skip his religious blog entries; it honestly doesn’t bother me, but my wormholes and I don’t have time for that. If anything, Josh has reminded me that I need to work past my imagination wormholes and keep blogging.
Mazel tov, Home Boy, and you do you.
I want to keep talking about my imagination wormholes; but I am quite distracted, and I need to check on my laundry. OH RIGHT. Sometimes I problem solve – thus I tested my old apartment building’s laundry card on my current laundry card system, and IT WORKED. Praise the Lord!
I’ll consider apologizing to Boyfriend for the voicemail.
Oh and I lied, I did end up cooking tonight. I made myself two turkey burgers with sautéed mushrooms and onions.
Seasoning Recommendation:
- Salt
- Pepper
- Garlic powder
- McCormick steak seasoning
Anything less is quite amateur, my friends.
I plan on writing again soon and will employ a Josh Weed strategy to help keep me accountable. Here’s what I want to tell you about in the near future:
- Imagination Wormholes, Part 2 and Self Diagnosis
- Millennial Wasteland
- More Actual Cooking
- Why can’t I tune out Turkish?
Tschüss!
Sie Lizzie D
sielizziedkuche 